I don’t care what you call it – two thousand ten, twenty ten, or oh ten – this year has gotten off to one craaaaaazy start!  I thought I ought to share.  Because this is interesting stuff.  My life is interesting!  Or at least there’s interesting people in it.  Right?  Considering I’m spending the next few weeks watching all of Farscape from season one again, I might be exaggerating.  A little.

Anyway, here’s the rundown of the past couple weeks, which were WAY more crazy then the next two are shaping up to be.

11/29/09: My birthday!  I have a birthday party.  There’s a theme.  It’s Xanadu!  I inflict this movie on all my friends.  Mercilessly.

12/16/09: I receive numerous emails from several friends and acquaintances that the Broadway musical Xanadu was coming to Portland in January.  And the tickets went on sale on my birthday, which just SMACKS of destiny, doesn’t it?  Seriously, like 3 people all emailed me THE SAME DAY.  I guess the word kinda got out that I like Xanadu.  But for the record, I just LIKE it.  It’s not like it’s my favorite movie of all time or anything.  It’s not, you know.

12/31/09: I start working with the wonderful folks at the Portland Opera to come up with some ideas on how to drum up interest for the show via the OurPDX blog.  We come up with some AWESOME ideas…

01/03/10: I post the first blog post on OurPDX.com.  It was brilliant, of course.  Inspired, you might say.  Because I am an artiste.  Or perhaps the Muses graced my keyboard?  Whatever.

01/04/10: The first of five days of Xanadu quiz questions on the Twitters.  It was (mostly) all tagged with the hashtag #pdxanadu. Strangely, for only having 5 days of quiz questions, we had EIGHT finalists!  Because I only use the minute hand when I check who answered first.  And Friday, there were a whole gaggle of people who answered within the same minute.  Lucky!

01/07/10: I get to interview Annie Golden, who plays Calliope.  The only person I’d ever interviewed for OurPDX before this was @mediachick.  That was great, of COURSE, but I mean…she’s my friend, and we hang out, and SHE MADE ME A PIE FOR MY BIRTHDAY.  This interview was someone famous, who I never met, over the phone.  So I was a touch nervous.  But it was FABULOUS! I spend all night and part of the next day writing up the blog post.  It seemed like something I ought to get up asap, you know?

01/09/10: @camikaos and I make OurPDX blogging history!  We co-blog a hilarious post as we announce the winner of the Xanadu tickets giveaway. (Grats, @blabbey!)

01/12/09: Cami and I head out to our big night at the Keller Auditorium.  We were sparkly.  Cami wore really big earrings.  I wore a lot of glitter.  We saw all sorts of friends, like @dieselboi and @anna_v and @mizd and @chefchopper!  The show was fabulous, the company was great, and of course we went for pie afterwards.  I think.  Did we go for pie?  Maybe I don’t remember exactly.  No, I’m pretty sure there was pie.

01/13/10: Since I was super smart and took half the day off the next day, it allowed Cami and I to write our second blog post where we regale the OurPDX readers with our wild tales of glitter and glam.  Plus I was hung over.

01/15/09: I head out to my second viewing of Xanadu.  I know, you’d think once was enough, but not for me, apparently.  Truth is, I sort of told some friends I’d go see it with them before this whole OurPDX thing started.  So you know, I had to keep my commitments.  This caused several cool things to happen:  I became Mayor of the Keller Auditorium on foursquare, and I got a second chance to get a backstage tour thanks to Annie!  We weren’t on the stage for 2 minutes however, before the company manager kicked us off the stage in the most polite way I’ve ever heard, and then complemented me on my blogging.  It seems she kept the cast apprised of my online Xanadu musings.  I LOVE NEW FANS.  We ended up standing outside in the rain, chatting, my friends and Annie and I.  With an umbrella.  Dang foreigners and their umbrellas.

So there it is.  My Xanadu exploits, compiled and presented to you, dear readers.  As for me, I think I’ve had my fill of Xanadu for a while.  Or until someone wants to watch it with me.  Anyone?




I’ve never heard of this term before, this “Fanadu”.

Which is odd, considering I apparently am a Fanadu.  Who knew I was a Fanadu? I hadn’t a clue.  But it’s true!

What, you ask, is a Fanadu?  Fan + Xanadu, of course!

And while I don’t particularly care for the moniker, I’ll wear it proudly when I go to the opening night performance on January 12th.  THAT’S RIGHT.  I GOT ME SOME TICKETS AND I’M GOIN TO TOWN.

So check it:

A blog post about me going to see Xanadu and the awesomeness that it entails on that other blog for which I sometimes write funny stuff.

Should Auld Acquaintance Be Forgot…

Well, there goes another year, internets. Another year of trials, tribulations, happiness and heartache, highs and lows and everything in between.

The highs of this year? Easy. Meeting and getting to know the most amazing community I’ve ever had the honor, luck and pleasure of being a part of. Thanks to the pdx tech community, I have new ideas, new activities, and most importantly, new friends and connections which enrich my life in ways I could never have imagined (*cough* igniteportland and 30hourday *cough*), and will continue to enrich my life in ways I can only dream. So whether or not I follow you on Twitter, friend you on Facebook, or we hook up on LinkedIn, I’m glad I met each and every last one of you.

But it’s not all about the pdx tech scene! There’s been old friends reuniting, new activities ventured, and new friends made in other areas of my life as well!

In reviewing my year, I decided to steal copy borrow an end-of-year blog post idea from my friend Rick Turoczy, the Silicon Florist, and see what my blog posts from the past year say about me (That Rick, he’s big on the word clouds, isn’t he?):

Wordle of words from the titles of my blog over the year 2009.

I see hope there, my friends.  Spring fires and hope.  And also vampires.

Have a safe and happy New Year.  May you find the courage to make your life what you want it to be.

No Sleep For The Wicked

See what being Internet Famous will get you?

Actually, see what being Internet Famous and not saying no will get you?

It gets you involved in amazing, fabulous, inspiring projects which suck all the sleep out of you.

Like this one.

Watch this spot.  No, this spot right here.  Right.  Here.


Streaming live video by Ustream


I’ll be embedding the stream there for your viewing pleasure.  And if you tune in around 9:30am on Saturday, you’ll see me!  Yes, I’ll even be ON THE AIR.  Or the stream.  Whatever.  Followed by the variety show, which I’ll be running behind the scenes.  Only a fabulous charitable event such as this could get me in front of that many people and try to be funny.  And I will.  Try.  But please, I have a celebrity’s sensitive ego.  It squishes easily!  Because that’s what Internet Famous people do.  They have squishy egos.  Like a sponge, soaking up all the opinions about ME from everyone who of course is talking about ME.*

So, even though I’m permitted to sleep tonight (and really tomorrow night too, but don’t tell anyone)…I don’t think I’ll be able to.  Sometimes…it’s good to be wicked.  Famous.**

*You all do realize I’m joking, right?

**Just so you know, I don’t really think I’m famous.  Not in the least.  I know it might seem like I am, but I’m not.  Please, stop sending me money.  No really, you can stop.  Well ok, maybe after you send that last check.  THEN you can stop.  I mean it.

Internet Famous

Something fabulous happened last night, my dear internets. It was so strange and surreal and well… Here. Read.

I’m at the Bagdad Theatre last night, watching Word to the Wise(men), a festive storytelling event full of scantily clad elves, cupcakes and music. That in and of itself is fabulous, I know. Being at the Bagdad and not running an event is kinda strange for me now, but some friends of mine were represented in this effort in various ways, and I was being a fangirl supportive.

I see a friend of mine walking over with a few other people, so naturally I go over to say hello. Thats what you do in these social situations, acknowledge people you like, right? See I thought so. Anyway, my friend introduces me to the guy with him: “Morgan, this is AGuy.  AGuy, this is Morgan.”

AGuy (sorry, can’t remember his name, it takes me a minimum of 7 times before I can remember peoples names, seriously you don’t?) anyway, he says to me as he grips my hand Very Tightly (the same hand I nearly broke on Thanksgiving, ouchouchouch): “Morgan? Like as in morganpdx?” I nod affirmative, slightly bewildered. “Oh man I LOVE reading your blog! You’re so funny and awesome and amazing and I want to have your babies!!”. At least that’s what I think he said. That’s what I heard, anyway. Which means, of course, that I’M INTERNET FAMOUS!!! I’M A FUCKIN ROCK STAR!

Funny, my chauffer hasn’t arrived in my Morgan limo yet. You get one of those when you’re Internet Famous, right? And a personal chef and personal trainer? I expect the checks will start rolling in Any Day Now.

Silly shoes, social media, porn, and a Dave Chappelle FAIL.

Internets, it has been a NIGHT.  Let me tell you.  I mean…I don’t even know what I mean, that’s what a night it’s been.  See, this blog post was originally going to be about those silly shoes I’ve seen cropping up around town, the one with the toes all individually packaged and looking very uncomfortable.  I don’t like them.  So I was going to tell you about that.  BUT INSTEAD, you get this.  And it’s much better.  Oh so much better.

Tonight I was one of several thousand Portland residents to witness the most amazing, baffling, anticlimactic social media experiment in history.  Not to mention an epic #FAIL moment for Mr. Dave Chappelle, comedian, and an opportunity for me to publish porn for the first time.  Yes me!  I’m beginning my meteoric rise to porn industry domination!  Or not.

Let’s take a little journey along this story, shall we?

So I heard rumblings in the Twittersphere of some Dave Chappelle something or other.  Seeing as I was DJing tonight, and that it may or may not have been my last time DJing at Tonic, and my pal and DJ teacher @mrballistic was gonna show up, I was a bit preoccupied with other more relevant stuff.

Incidentally, I’m still not exactly sure if I’m DJing again there in two weeks.  Either way, there will certainly be more gigs.  I’ll keep you posted.

So I did my DJ thing.  There was technical difficulties not of my own doing (Helps if you don’t give your speakers to unreliable folk, just sayin’) but the night went off without too much trouble.  And now, @mrballistic and his friend @jetstream were talking about heading down to the square for this Dave Chappelle thing.

Huh.  Dave Chappelle thing?  My set over, I dived into the stweam (twitter stream! ha.) to see what the hubbub was about.  Mind you, it’s right around 11:00pm.  What’s this?  Rumours are abounding that Dave Chappelle is going to do a free show at the Pioneer Courthouse Square tonight?  And there’s thousands of people down at the square already?

Well.  This bears witnessing, I thought.  No really, I really did think that.  I thought, and I quote: “Well.  This bears witnessing.”  I really think like that sometimes.  And then sometimes I think “Dude I gotta check that shit out STAT!!!!!  ZOMG!!!!!”  Ahem.  Anyway.

So, impulsive chick that I am, I hop in my car and instead of heading home as I intended, I headed Down Town.

Parked without too much difficulty pretty close to the square.  Now normally, around 11pm on a Tuesday, things are pretty quiet in downtown pdx.  But tonight, there were cars and people wandering around.  Not a lot, but certainly more than normal.  That is, until I saw the square.

IT. WAS. PACKED.  Literally, thousands of people were there.  A madhouse.  Throngs of people.  Gaggles of people.  Groups and gangs and masses of people.  All at the square, at 11:30ish, on a freakin TUESDAY.  There was a stage in the middle, and people had climbed everthing imaginable to get a good view of that stage.  They climbed chairs, walls, onto the starbucks, onto the random sculptures, onto the empty foodcarts, anything that could barely (certainly not safely in some cases) hold the weight of a human had a human on it.


Ok so.  Because most of these people didn’t really *know* that this was happening for *sure*, after about 45 minutes of waiting with no sign, people either a. started to leave or b. got cranky.  I mean, there was a lot of people all crammed up against the stage, lots of drinking I’m sure, and I seriously got a contact high from one spot I tried to get a good view.


Now, there had been no substantiated evidence that this really WAS going to  happen.  This huge crowd was the result of rumour, speculation and hearsay, from Facebook, Twitter, Friendfeed, and all the other social networks that are changing the face of our world and our existence these days.

Think about that for a second.  Thousands of people, at the square at (now) midnight, all because of rumour on social networks.

A-freakin-mazing.  Really.  Really!

Well finally, he shows up.

Here.  Video:

And now for the part when I become a porn director.

If you watched the video up there, you’ll see people started yelling about not being able to hear anything.  Pretty much he came out with a mic attached to a tiny little amp, and no one further away that about 20 feet from the stage in the direction the amp was pointing could hear.  Not anything.  Nothing.  So a crowd, waiting for an hour for this guy to show, he shows, and now 95% of the crowd can see him, but can’t hear him.

That’s when the FAIL began.

Fortunately at first, there was a bit of a distraction.  And now is where I become a porn director.

Suddenly I notice three people standing on top of the roof of the starbucks.  One girl, two guys.  And the girl and one of the guys had no shirt on.

And they they started a striptease.  All three of them.  On top of the Starbucks.  In front of thousands.

Here.  Video:

Uh….huh.  I’ll be making the porn beeelions soon, hangin with my porn peeps, doin my porn thang.  And with all my new porn connections, maybe then I can publish this little short story I’ve been working on…

Ahem.  Right.  Back to the thing.

This little distraction couldn’t last with all the Portland Police on the scene.  No, our men and women in blue were ON IT.


Except that I saw those same nekkid folks, somewhat nekkid again, down in the fountain pool a few minutes later.

Again with the video:

So now we’re back to a crowd, waiting for an hour for this guy to show, he shows, and while 95% of the crowd can see him, very few can hear him.


Apparently there was some discussion down near the stage that a sound system was being figured out.  This figuring lasted about another hour.


So there was a lot of crowdsourcing the running of speaker cords and electrical cords and umbilical cords and all sorts of cords running over and under and around the crowd.  And then it was all hooked up, and ready to go and….

Nothing.  NOTHING.  That’s right.  Dave is still using the tiny amp, no one can hear him, and people are starting to drift away slowly.

The culprit?


So after a bit more of this, suddenly we all realize that Dave Has Left The Building.  Or the Square, in this case.

I’ll leave the analysis of exactly how, why and when and what types of #FAIL this was to folks in the morning.  It’s 4am, and I’m beat.

Thanks Dave.  Not sure for what.  Something to blog about, I guess?  I hear that the people down at the stage thought you were pretty funny.

The Fair Returns.

I have very important news to tell you, interwebs.  You best sit down.



So, I tend to scoff at screaming squealy fangirl/fanboi displays.  And when I say tend to, I mean seriously people, have some dignity, would you?  Just because someone has achieved success in music or film, doesn’t mean they are any better a person that you or I.  Assuming you and I aren’t serial killers or pedophiles or psychotic lunatics, of course.

(Damn.  Now I’m gonna get google hits for pedophiles and serial killers.  One can never win this google war, fer fuck’s sake.)

Now, mind you, I have my favorite public figures.  And as you may or may not know, one of the people on top of that list is Sarah McLachlan.  I’m sure I’ve mentioned her?  Once or twice?  No?  Lies!  You OBVIOUSLY never read my blog, EVER.

Yes, so I’m a big Sarah fangirl.  I think she’s not only talented, and driven, but she gives of herself and goes out of her way to help women and children and puppies and kittens.  You’ve seen the ASPCA/BCSPCA spot she did?  Yeah, I get teary EVERY TIME, dammit.  Hello, manipulation….  But I don’t get swoony-all-over-shit-and-be-generally-pathetic when she comes to town.  Oh no sirree.  I buy my ticket, and bask in her awesomeness, frame my ticket stubs, travel to Vancouver BC just to visit the Nettwerk Records offices, and nearly get kicked out of places for taking a bajillion pictures of her.

No, because I’m an amateur PHOTOGRAPHER.  Get your mind outta the gutter, interwebs.  Just cause I mentioned …oh never mind.  And hey, there’s lots of great bands on the Nettwerk label.  Like…um…hmm…like….huh.

No no really, I kid.  Like Ladytron, Guster, BNL, Jars of Clay, Manufacture, Delerium, Severed Heads, Skinny Puppy, etc  to name a few that I like off the top of my head.

So of course I’m on Sarah lists, and I get Sarah notifications. And because of this, I have news, interwebs.  NEWS OF THE GREATEST IMPORT.  If any of these apply to you:

1. You like Sarah Mchlachlan

2. Enjoy indie women’s music

3. Think girl rockers kick ass

Then hold on to your hats, interwebs.  Sit down.  Take a deep breath.


Yes, Lilith Fair, the paragon of women’s music festivals, will be hitting the tour maps in 2010.  Last time, I followed it for three days, from Portland to the Gorge and back.  Three days of Erica Badu, and Natalie Merchant, and Tara McLean (who gave me a free ticket to the portland date!), and K’s Choice and Suzanne Vega and The Pretenders and Dar Williams and Bonnie Raitt  and and andand!  It was three days of pure hedonistic drunken women’s music bliss.  I can’t even imagine who will be on the bill this time.  Let the speculation begin!  Plus, we all know that Portland has traditionally been one of , if not THE first stops, because Sarah loves Portland.  I know, she told me.  There was this dream, and…


Never mind.

Now I’m not saying I’m gonna get all squealy and screamy and stuff…But when I heard this news of awesomeness I did let out a huge SQUEEEE!!  of happiness.  In the privacy of my own home.  Where no one can see me.

Don’t tell anyone, ok?

Can I buy tickets yet?

Duh, what’s up Doc? Duh…

I had a pet rabbit once.  Rabbits are stupid.  Yes, they’re cute and fuzzy and soft, but underneath the surface…they’re cute and fuzzy and soft.  In other words, there’s just not a lot of synapses firing in there.  I dunno, maybe I had a particularly stupid bunny, but from what I’ve seen and heard, it was pretty average.  And by average, I mean stupid.

Case in point:

NOM NOM NOM.  From my new most favorite website, http://www.epicpicsofwin.com

NOM NOM NOM. From my new most favorite website, http://www.epicpicsofwin.com

This of course does not include bugs bunny, who is very very smart, not to mention delightfully snarky.  But then, he’s a cartoon character, not a real bunny rabbit.

On the opposite end of the spectrum, is my dog.  My dog is a FREAKIN GENIUS.  People ask me if my dog is smart.  In answer, I tell them she does my taxes.  They laugh, because they think I’m kidding.

I’m not.

Ok yes I am.  But if she could grasp concepts like the US Tax Code and the use of a computer, I’d totally let her do my taxes.  I’d probably get more money back.  I could start up my very own tax consulting business, and I’d give her her very own office complete with buckets of liver and salmon treats and her very own ball boy to toss her tennis ball three times a day for an hour.  And a wading pool.  And sticks to chew on, that won’t get all splintery.  She’d do people’s taxes, and then play with her tennis ball, splash in the water, and I’d be rich, because duh, my dog can do people’s taxes.  And people would pay me to have her do their taxes, and they’d tell their friends that a dog does their taxes, and they saved OODLES of money, and how cool is that?

Don’t believe me?  Well, forget about the fact that she knew more commands at the age of 6 months than any stupid rabbit.  Forget that she is probably the most awesome dog on the planet.  You want unbiased proof, well here you go.

I took her to the Doggie Dash on the waterfront when she was 15 months old.  They had a frisbee competition that day, and any dog could register to compete.  I knew she was a fetching fool with balls, but she’d never even SEEN a frisbee before.  I’d read that it’s not a good idea for young pups to jump too much, and frisbee is just begging for jumps, so I hadn’t exposed her to that yet.  This would be her first time.  15 months old.  Never seen a frisbee.  And competing against probably 20 other dogs, many of whom have seen a frisbee, and knew what to do with it.

My dog came in FIFTH.  FIFTH!!!!!

So there.

Check out my post on OurPDX.net about the 22nd!!! annual Oregon Humane Society Doggie Dash, coming up on May 9th.  Jessie will be there, but she’s pretty good about not being all elitist and rubbing your face in the fact that she’s a genius.  Me, I have a bit more trouble with it.  Proud mother, I guess.  But…

<whisper whisper growl grunt bark bark grunt>

Um.  Jessie says I should quit being a crazy proud doggie mom.  So, sorry.

Sniff sniff sniff: Is that spring I smell?

Right.  I know, it snowed the other day.  I figure, it don’t stick, it don’t count, right?  And yes, I heard Dave Salesky saying it’s gonna snow tomorrow, too. 

And that, my friends, will make SEVENTEEN days of snow this winter!

But!  There was that one day last week.  Were you there?  Did you see it?  It was warm!  I took my jacket off!  I wore my sunglasses!

Well, I mean, I often wear my sunglasses even when it’s cloudy.  Cloud glare, you know.  Anyway…

It was just one day.  But hear me, my fellow PDXers:  Spring, she is a-comin!

It’s hard to believe it after the winter we’ve had.  But buck up, lil’ buckaroos.  There’s stuff sprouting.  The sun is warming.  Trees are shooting!  Err, you know, putting out shoots!  My bike gloves are looking awfully tempting!  My hyacinths are BLOOMING!  Seriously, like out of the ground, flowers, all…bloomed.  (I tried shoving ’em back in, telling them it’s too early, but they didn’t seem to like that too much.)  My fave Springwater Corridor Trail will be seeing my return soon!  Joy.  Happy sigh, even.

SO!  In honour of this impending nice weather craziness that is looming in our future (oh please!  Loom!  LOOM FASTER!), how about getting out to get that Springwater Corridor Trail, and the Johnson Creek Watershed it’s in, all spruced up for springtime?

Well, then, block March 7th on your iPhones, because it’s the 11th Annual Watershed Wide Work Party!  Complete with Volunteer Appreciation Luncheon!  (*cough* free lunch *cough*)  Come on out and lend a hand, meet your fellow PDX-lovin’ neighbors, get some fresh (hopefully springy!) air, exercise and fun!  And hello, free food.  Did I mention the free food? 

I, alas, will not be able to join you.  Please go in my stead.  Represent, and stuff.  I will be working VERY, VERY hard to facilitate the return of ORBlogs to our beloved PDX interweb at the first ORBlogs Code Sprint, kindly hosted by our friends at CubeSpace.  So if you’re not feeling up to the task of watershed sprucing, come and hang out at CubeSpace and lend a hand to make ORBlogs a thing of beauty for all of us to use.

Huzzah for Volunteers!

Zut Alor! Or how to keep your non-photog friends

I clearly remember the first time I realized that being a photographer can strain relationships.

I was 15 years old, in Paris.  (Wheee!!!)

I was 15 years old, in Paris, with my mother.  (Ouch.)

So here I am, tooling around Paris with my mom.  I’d been taking french classes in high school, so I knew all the history, the art, the things to see.  We saw the Louvre.  We did Versailles.  We floated down the Seine, and saw the (other, original) Statue of Liberty.  Arc de Triomphe, Place de la Concorde, all connected by the Champs Elysee.  Notre Dame. 

And yes, we went to Le Tour Eiffel.

Now granted, this was before digital photography.  Each roll of film cost money to look at, and you couldn’t erase the bad shots  right when you took them.  I know.  I get that.

But dude.  The fraking Eiffel Tower, right?!

So due to my penchant for it, my mother entrusted me as official trip photographer.  Or, maybe I was the one willing to carry the camera.  Either way, I took lotsa pictures.  Lots and lots and lots.  I think we went home with something around 16 rolls of film.

Including the one iconic shot, of the Eiffel Tower in the background, my mother in the foreground, yelling at me to QUIT TAKING SO MANY DAMN PICTURES!!!!

But…It’s the Eiffel Tower, I insisted!

Yeah, and you’ve already taken 50 pictures of it already!

But…but I gotta get it *just right*.

Bless the inventors of the digital camera, by the way.  May you be showered with blessings upon you, and upon your children, and their children’s children. 

So I learned that people who don’t appreciate and/or enjoy the craft of photography tend to get pissy when you stop every five minutes and spend 10 minutes ‘framing your shot’ and then taking 30 versions of that shot to get it, you know, *just right*.

If you’re gonna go off walking around, taking pictures, go with other photo walkers.  They are far more understanding of the slow pace required.  And will most likely still talk to you afterwards.  They certainly won’t berate you, or ground you for using up 16 rolls of film.

With that in mind, thanks to Aaron Hockley, aka @ahockley, for organizing the first Geek Photo Walk!

There will be pictures.  Oh, yes, there will be pictures.  Look!  To the right!  A Recent Flickr Photos stream!

Yeah I know it’s empty.  Check back tomorrow, my peeps, check back tomorrow.   Activated! 

PS –  all you Flickr pros, any tips on using it = much appreciated!