Remember a while back when I said I was creepily high on Google search for “surviving hanging”, and had an inordinate number of hits for that exact topic?  Right?  Well, not any more, my friends.   Not anymore.  Apparently web searches have gotten all cerebral and literate – or are at least making an attempt at it.  Kudos, interwebs!  Read stuff!  And I’m here to help!

Lately, many of my search hits revolve around two particular phrases which I’ve used in my blog posts.  I tend to do that occasionally, and rarely do I ever think to actually tell you from whence those particular snippets of juicy eruditeness originate.  So I thought, since people are hitting my site for this info, well, I wouldn’t want them to be disappointed, right?  I know how disappointed I’d be if say, I was searching for the lyrics to Hava Nagila, and all I could find was some blog post that said “He handed me a drink, and then I got all Hava Nagila on his ass” without any explanation of what the heck a hava nagila is, not to mention why it would get on some guy’s ass.  And I’m still lyric-less.

(And incidentally – here’s the lyrics to Hava Nagila.)

So be disappointed no more, interwebs!  Here’s the back story to the phrases:

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways…

The first one that I keep getting hits for is “How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.”  I paraphrased the first line from this poem by Elizabeth Barret Browning in my Valentine’s Day Crawl post.  Appropriate, no?  Anyway, the poem is #43 from her most famous collection, Sonnets from the Portuguese.  From Wikipedia: “By far the most famous poem from this collection, with one of the most famous opening lines in the English language, is number 43”.  Hey, I have high standards.  For another one of my favourite Victorian-era love poems, I gotta go with that randy, haggis-eating Scottish chap, Robert Burns:

O my Luve’s like a red, red rose
That’s newly sprung in June:
O my Luve’s like the melodie
That’s sweetly play’d in tune.

As fair art thou, my bonnie lass,
So deep in luve am I:
And I will luve thee still, my dear,
Till a’ the seas gang dry:

Till a’ the seas gang dry, my dear,
And the rocks melt wi’ the sun;
I will love thee still, my dear,
While the sands o’ life shall run.

And fare thee weel, my only Luve
And fare thee weel, awhile!
And I will come again, my Luve,
Tho’ it were ten thousand mile.

Good DAY sir.  I said GOOD DAY!

The second search I noticed pinging my humble little blog is “I said GOOD DAY SIR. GOOD DAY!”  which is the title for a blog post I wrote about being a bit miffed about some silly thing.  Now that line comes pretty much straight from Gene Wilder’s lips in Willy Wonka and The Chocolate Factory.  The full text:

Grandpa Joe: Mr. Wonka?
Willy Wonka: [pointedly ignoring them] I am extraordinarily busy, sir.
Grandpa Joe: [tentatively] I just wanted to ask about the chocolate – Uh, the lifetime supply of chocolate… for Charlie. When does he get it?
Willy Wonka: He doesn’t.
Grandpa Joe: Why not?
Willy Wonka: Because he broke the rules.
Grandpa Joe: What rules? We didn’t see any rules. Did we, Charlie?
Willy Wonka: [springs up from his chair, angrily] Wrong, sir! Wrong! Under section 37B of the contract signed by him, it states quite clearly that all offers shall become null and void if – and you can read it for yourself in this photostatic copy [grabs a magnifying glass and reads]
Willy Wonka: – “I, the undersigned, shall forfeit all rights, privileges, and licenses herein and herein contained,” et cetera, et cetera…”Fax mentis incendium gloria cultum,”  et cetera, et cetera…”Memo bis punitor delicatum!”
[slams the magnifying glass down, shouts]
Willy Wonka: It’s all there, black and white, clear as crystal! You stole fizzy lifting drinks. You bumped into the ceiling which now has to be washed and sterilized, so you get *NOTHING*! You lose! Good day sir!
Grandpa Joe: [shocked] You’re a crook. You’re a cheat and a swindler! That’s what you are!
[angrily]
Grandpa Joe: How could you do a thing like this, build up a little boy’s hopes and then smash all his dreams to pieces? You’re an inhuman monster!
Willy Wonka: [shouts even louder] I said “Good day!”
Grandpa Joe: Come on, Charlie, Let’s get out of here. I’ll get even with him if its the last thing I’ll ever do. If Slugworth wants a gobstopper, he’ll get one.

Yeah I switched it a little bit.  But the effect remains the same, no?

So there you have it.  All the literary references my readers have been clamoring – yes CLAMORING! – for.  Look out!  Next I’m gonna get all Shakespearean and translate into modern terms the most excellent tips Polonius imparted to his son Laertes before he went out into the big blue world.  Because you need that, right?  And don’t think I can’t!  And from now on, I’ll let you know where I gleaned my little tidbits of literary goodness, never fear.  Go read, interwebs!

What are you waiting for?  Go!!