How to survive hanging, or catering to my readers

Ok. Ok ok ok ok, fine.

So, I have this friend, see.  She’s living here for a couple years, but she’s originally from Israel.  Haifa.  She’s had a couple of friends fly out to visit, and when they do, she likes to take them for the Requisite Portland to Hood River Gorge Tour.  She usually invites me along.  I dunno, maybe cuz I’m funny.  Or, I’m the token American. 

The first time, I was inspired by the trip to blog about it.  I titled the blog post “Hebrew 101, or How to Survive Hanging Out with Crazy Israelis”.  It was pretty damn funny, I thought. 

(Apparently my Israeli friends thought so too, since they spammed the post via email to everyone they know.  I now get regular .il readers.  Heh, cool.  I think?)  

Anyway, I digress.  This blog post had a completely unintended side effect.  Unintended, and quite disturbing.  Creepy, you might say.  Bizarre, at the least.  What is it?  Are you on the edge of your seat yet? 

I get a LOT of hits from search engines on ‘how to survive hanging’.  I think I’m number 4 on google.  Yeeesh.

Edge of your seat, indeed.  Just don’t slip, ok????  That’s tip number one.

Right.  So, for all of you who happen upon my blog because they’re trying to figure out if they can survive hanging, here is my service to you (thanks to @mercuryPDX for these tips):

1. Avoid noose-like constructs.

2. Wear an iron dickie.

3. Always carry a box knife.

There you go.  Hope that helps.

Comments

  1. Ceci says:

    Heh… you said dickie.

    What?! I had to say it!
    See you later on tonight at Ignite!

  2. Morgan says:

    Thank you Joseph! It always does my heart good to know someone, somewhere in the wide wide world appreciates my insane ranting and shit. :)

  3. Jennifer says:

    LOL! This is the best worktime entertainment I’ve had in a VERY long time… Come to think of it, I think since the LAST time you entertained me with some post… while I was at work. I’m seeing a pattern here.