Be careful out there, people. There’s dangerous elements lurking about in our fair city.
What do you do when you can’t blog?
You SUFFER.
Heh. Perhaps that’s a bit strong? Probably. But still.
I have lots on my mind. But I just can’t blog about it. It’s stuff I just can’t safely release into the wilds of the interwebs with a clear conscience. Believe me, I would if I could. I even have a couple draft posts just sitting there, mocking me.
I read them, and they say “Come on, what’s the worst that could happen?”
“Oh, it could be bad. It could be very, very bad”, I answer.
But they continue to sit there, smirking. Taunting me. And I know that if I hit that “Publish” button, I would feel a moment of release, of accepting my fate, of peace.
And it would last all of, oh, two seconds.
Because then the internal recriminations would begin, and the repurcussions… Like a huge tsunami breaking over a sunny remote beach. There you are, all happy happy joy joy, at peace with the world; next you’re pulling seaweed out of your teeth, getting knocked in the head with rocks and shells, fish are bitch slapping you in the face with their tail, and you’re treading water like a banshee:
“Oh, crap. You really, really shouldn’t have done that. All hell is gonna break loose. You knew that, why the f*ck did you publish that?!” Etc, etc, etc.
And when the repurcussions of my little post start to hit (and they will. Trust me, they will.):
“Told you you should’nt have published that. Dumbass.”
Mind you, taken alone, those posts are pretty innocuous. Like a little pebble.
A tiny little pebble, that when tossed in a lake, goes KAPOW, because what you didn’t realize is that tiny, innocent little pebble was coated with nitroglycerin. Oops.
The last time I was in a position like this, I hit publish.
This time…I think I’ll close the browser. But right after I publish this post…
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Spring Implications
I’m giddy.
I don’t usually like to use that word to describe my mood, because it has such sophomoric (ha! props to @smithrockneil) connotations for me, but…there’s no better word to describe how I feel when I get that first hint of spring in the air.
After the giddiness, however, comes the speculative gaze over my backyard. The time where I announce loudly, to no one in particular, while standing in my backyard, that I am the MASTER OF MY DOMAIN, dammit, and ALL VEGETABLE MATTER EXISTING THEREIN SHALL BOW BEFORE ME. And that, my friends, is what happened last weekend. Yes, interwebs, hold on to your hats: it’s time to resume my Eternal Project.
e·ter·nal 
(
-tûr
n
l)
ADJECTIVE:
- Being without beginning or end; existing outside of time.
- Continuing without interruption; perpetual.
- Forever true or changeless: eternal truths.
- Seemingly endless; interminable.
- Of or relating to spiritual communion with God, especially in the afterlife.
Right. My eternal project is my backyard. I have a grand vision of a peaceful, secluded sanctuary, and I’m constantly trying to figure out how to balance my available funds against my vision. Hard hard hard to do. Especially now, when funds are so scarce these days, right?
So the plan for this year:
- Figure out what to do with the slide in my backyard. It’s just in the wrong place. But I do love watching my dog run down it. And, I must confess, I’ve been known to run down the thing myself, but don’t tell anybody, k? Our secret. Yeah. So, a slide compromise is required.
- Plant a tree in the back corner. Birch, or maybe maple. Or both? Huh. Or…maybe a paperbark cherry. Love those.
- Plant lilacs. No, I’m not making my backyard an homage to the official New Hampshire state flora. It’s a coincidence, seriously. Yes, I did live in New Hampshire for 9 years. So?
- Do something with the grass on my little front planting strip. I know, not part of my back yard per se, but there’s project leakage. Scope creep. The backyard is the biggest piece, is all.
- Pergola? Maybe? If I build it myself. I can do that, right? Right? Sure. I think?
And then of course there’s the bamboo maintenance, so it doesn’t turn into all Day of the Triffids on me (by the way, one of my favorite movies growing up!). And figuring out possible seating around my fire pit of awesomeness. And of course, building a shed. Ugh. So freakin much to do! Oh, and I want to grow veggies this year too. Mmm, backyard salad. And disconnecting my downspouts into a nifty little bioswale. And more lavendar, since it seems to withstand dog antics pretty well, unlike many of my other unfortunate planting attempts.
So. I’ll be posting updates. And pictures! It will be GLORIOUS. Perhaps, dare I say it? as glorious as John Metta’s blog. Stay tuned!
I am currently taking bids for any of the above-mentioned work. Payment will be in the form of beer, pizza and of course my undying gratitude. Please submit your bid in the comment section below. Extra points if you request good beer. I reserve the right to determine what, exactly, is good beer.
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And she was just here, too. Damn.
This is OMFGMF hot. That is all.
Lykke Li @ NTBR Part 4 - "Hustlin'" from Drew Innis on Vimeo.
Oh, and yeah. She was just here last Thursday. I found out about her show when I drove by the Hawthorne Theatre half an hour after it started, for dinner with friends a block away. So sad. Here’s the KNRK interview.
HAWT.
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Twitter On Fire!
I like Twitter.
A lot.
I’ve also seen it do amazing things, like give me and everyone in Portland instant information about the weather. Or hearing about an earthquake that happened, seconds after it happened. I hear things on the news days after I hear about it through my Twitter network. It’s amazing. Networking, keeping in touch with friends, keeping my finger on the pulse of the tech community of Portland – all through Twitter.
I’ve also seen friends and aquaintances of mine ask questions of their tweeple (twitter+people) and have a truly amazing level of feedback, instantly. Instantly. Can you say that about forums? Or, ha, customer service? However, it’s not something that has ever happened to me.
Until now.
I’m currently helping the ORBlogs effort become an agile project. I’m also going back to IT at work (joy!) and have been approached about being a technical lead on a project at work. Being, as I am, an agile-vangelist, I thought it would be truly great if I could find a web-based agile tracking application that would help me with both of those efforts. So…I figured, I’d hit up my Twitterverse, see if they know anything. I mean, what the heck do I have 170+ people following me for if I can’t ping ’em for info now and again, right? I figured my pal and former coworker/teammate Jason (@slimstarman) would probably have some feedback about it, but I wasn’t sure if anyone else in my little network would have any ideas.
Well, I tossed out my question:
So, I figured I’d get a response or two, maybe three, right? Boy, was I in for a surprise! Witness:
And there was more. That’s just the first major clump. Wow. I mean, wow. Witness, the power of Twitter. I mean, all those responses, within a minute of my question. A MINUTE. Instant, relevant, helpful, information.
Thanks to @hamids, @evacatherder, @mcottmeyer, @slimstarman (Ha! See, I knew he’d have an opinon), @donpdonp, @gerrykirk, @rickwindham, @rockcogley, and @silvercatalyst for all the great feedback on my humble little question. I ended up liking the Pivotal Tracker (@pivotaltracker! They’re on twitter too!) and am giving it a test drive.
So to commemorate my first-hand exposure to the Power of Twitter, I will be wearing my new ThinkGeek shirt tonight at Ignite Portland 5!!! It’s got Twitter written all over it.
If you’re in Portland tonight around 6pm, just go. You’ll see. It’s free, and it’s awesome. But get there early!
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How to survive hanging, or catering to my readers
Ok. Ok ok ok ok, fine.
So, I have this friend, see. She’s living here for a couple years, but she’s originally from Israel. Haifa. She’s had a couple of friends fly out to visit, and when they do, she likes to take them for the Requisite Portland to Hood River Gorge Tour. She usually invites me along. I dunno, maybe cuz I’m funny. Or, I’m the token American.
The first time, I was inspired by the trip to blog about it. I titled the blog post “Hebrew 101, or How to Survive Hanging Out with Crazy Israelis”. It was pretty damn funny, I thought.
(Apparently my Israeli friends thought so too, since they spammed the post via email to everyone they know. I now get regular .il readers. Heh, cool. I think?)
Anyway, I digress. This blog post had a completely unintended side effect. Unintended, and quite disturbing. Creepy, you might say. Bizarre, at the least. What is it? Are you on the edge of your seat yet?
I get a LOT of hits from search engines on ‘how to survive hanging’. I think I’m number 4 on google. Yeeesh.
Edge of your seat, indeed. Just don’t slip, ok???? That’s tip number one.
Right. So, for all of you who happen upon my blog because they’re trying to figure out if they can survive hanging, here is my service to you (thanks to @mercuryPDX for these tips):
1. Avoid noose-like constructs.
2. Wear an iron dickie.
3. Always carry a box knife.
There you go. Hope that helps.
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Valentine Pub Crawl
Just in time for Valentine’s day, I submit to you, worthy readers, a valentine pub crawl. Except instead of crawling pubs, I’m gonna crawl countries. And instead of sampling libations*, I’m gonna swirl words of love around my palate in different languages, see if the mouth feel is nice. Test the bouquet. See if the tannins are overpowering. In homage to Valentine’s Day, join this humble, hopeless romantic as we journey ’round the world in my flying gondola of love.
*False advertising, you say? Whatev. Deal w/ it.Let’s start in that passionately contested northeast corner of Spain, where they pronounce Barcelona with the c sounding like –th, Catalonia:
T’estimo (Catalan) – Short and sweet. But not too sweet. Sounds a bit fiduciary, in fact.
Wo ai ni (Chinese (Mandarin)) – Falls off the tongue with a touch of earnestness. Interesting, for the Chinese to sound earnest in love.
Jeg elsker dig (Danish) – Full and robust. Would sound great yelled from below a balcony, I’d wager.
Ik hou van jou (Dutch) – Melodic, strong, with a nice rhythm. I think Dutch singers probably have the edge, here, no?
Je t’aime (French) – Hello, this is the language of love, right? Making the knees of women weak for centuries.
Taim i’ ngra leat (Irish Gaelic) – Probably one of the hardest languages to learn, but oh so rewarding. This is the one that you yell out amidst the fields at twilight, and who’s to say if your heart’s true love is the girl or the island.
Ich liebe dich (German) – Frankly, German is not the most pleasant on my ears. But I’m sure if you’re German, this is one of the nicer things you get to hear.
S’agapo (Greek) – Agape! Greeks, who gave us Aphrodite, Zeus, Adonis, Cupid, the Muses, and at least three different words for love (agape, eros, philia, and possible thelema and storge). Truly this country has inspired love in the world for eons.
Szeretlek (Hungarian) – Whoa. And I thought the only cool thing to come out of Hungary was Béla Bartók. They don’t fool around when they say I love you. They fucking mean it.
Ti amo (Italian) – Ah, the Italians. I do have a fondness for the Latin languages, I must confess. They all just sound…right. Like they invented the idea of love, and the way they say it is the way the universe would if it spoke in words. They don’t call them the Romance languages for nothin!
Ya tebya liubliu (Russian) – Not what I would have expected the Russian to sound like. Sounds a bit like you’re talking to a pet instead of your lover. Meh.
Kocham cię (Polish) – Sounds a bit demanding, but musical. Still better than the German, if you ask me.
Eu te amo (Portuguese) – This is my favorite. But then, I’m biased. I freaking love this language. Eu te amo, meu amor…Sinto saudades de você.
Techihhila (Sioux) – Native American languages are so awesome. You can almost touch the desire in this one.
‘Rwy’n dy garu di (Welsh) – You know, if I could figure out how to pronounce this, I bet it would sound just beautiful. I’m sure my pronunciation is all fuckered up, and it still sounds poetic.
Well, my star-crossed lovers, I hope you enjoy my little love sampler. This Valentine’s day, when you whisper sweet nothings in your true love’s ear, try something a little exotic for a change, and whisper one of these. Impress him or her with your worldly talents. Maybe these exotic words will inspire you and your babe to try other exotic pursuits in the name of love, right?
Peace and love to you all, this day and every day.
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Sniff sniff sniff: Is that spring I smell?
Right. I know, it snowed the other day. I figure, it don’t stick, it don’t count, right? And yes, I heard Dave Salesky saying it’s gonna snow tomorrow, too.
And that, my friends, will make SEVENTEEN days of snow this winter!
But! There was that one day last week. Were you there? Did you see it? It was warm! I took my jacket off! I wore my sunglasses!
Well, I mean, I often wear my sunglasses even when it’s cloudy. Cloud glare, you know. Anyway…
It was just one day. But hear me, my fellow PDXers: Spring, she is a-comin!
It’s hard to believe it after the winter we’ve had. But buck up, lil’ buckaroos. There’s stuff sprouting. The sun is warming. Trees are shooting! Err, you know, putting out shoots! My bike gloves are looking awfully tempting! My hyacinths are BLOOMING! Seriously, like out of the ground, flowers, all…bloomed. (I tried shoving ’em back in, telling them it’s too early, but they didn’t seem to like that too much.) My fave Springwater Corridor Trail will be seeing my return soon! Joy. Happy sigh, even.
SO! In honour of this impending nice weather craziness that is looming in our future (oh please! Loom! LOOM FASTER!), how about getting out to get that Springwater Corridor Trail, and the Johnson Creek Watershed it’s in, all spruced up for springtime?
Well, then, block March 7th on your iPhones, because it’s the 11th Annual Watershed Wide Work Party! Complete with Volunteer Appreciation Luncheon! (*cough* free lunch *cough*) Come on out and lend a hand, meet your fellow PDX-lovin’ neighbors, get some fresh (hopefully springy!) air, exercise and fun! And hello, free food. Did I mention the free food?
I, alas, will not be able to join you. Please go in my stead. Represent, and stuff. I will be working VERY, VERY hard to facilitate the return of ORBlogs to our beloved PDX interweb at the first ORBlogs Code Sprint, kindly hosted by our friends at CubeSpace. So if you’re not feeling up to the task of watershed sprucing, come and hang out at CubeSpace and lend a hand to make ORBlogs a thing of beauty for all of us to use.
Huzzah for Volunteers!
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Spreadin’ the blog love
My fellow bloggers have truly been outdoing themselves lately. So I thought I’d just give a shout out to some great stuff they’ve been writing lately. Hey, Valentine’s Day is coming, right? What better way to spread some blogger on blogger love then to …ahem…expose each other 😉
@caseorganic, aka Amber Case, wrote a great post with five dating tips for nerds. Very useful! Plus, she quotes me, so you know it must be really good info.
@melissalion, aka um, well Melissa Lion, has tasked us with crawling up from the muck that is our paltry existence, raise ourselves up and try to be her! Oh happy day! If you think you’re up to the task, my pretties, take a shot at The Melissa Lion International* Superiority Smugacity Self-Improvement Challenge. I’m making chai. From Starbucks.
The Recovering Straight Girl has some food for thought on the idea that being gay is a choice. I must say, I agree…whether or not it’s a choice, I wouldn’t want to be any other way.
Seems my love affair with PDX is rubbing off on people. @jarvitron aka zenboy wrote this blog post about how much he loves Portland, too. We should have a PDX love-in or something.
As far as work-type blogs go, one of my favorites is Web Worker Daily. Although they tend to cater to gig workers, there’s still lots of great info. And now, I have a go-to article to send all my friends to when I find myself at a loss to explain the coolness of Twitter, complete with some of its drawbacks.
And not the least, @cecivirtue posted some AMAZING phone pix of the opening night party of Coraline. They had the actual sets on display at the party! Wow. Cherry blossoms done with spray painted popcorn? Very, very cool. Makes me miss my old movie construction days, when I built breakaway doors, installed fake plastic Japanese roof tiles, and got to play with gas torches to distress wood beams. Ahh, movie magic.
Spread the blog love, and take a peek at some of my favorite bloggers. Or check my new blogroll over there on the right. Yeah over there. Under my recent flickr pictures. Read their stuff, and comment often. They and I will appreciate it!
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Zut Alor! Or how to keep your non-photog friends
I clearly remember the first time I realized that being a photographer can strain relationships.
I was 15 years old, in Paris. (Wheee!!!)
I was 15 years old, in Paris, with my mother. (Ouch.)
So here I am, tooling around Paris with my mom. I’d been taking french classes in high school, so I knew all the history, the art, the things to see. We saw the Louvre. We did Versailles. We floated down the Seine, and saw the (other, original) Statue of Liberty. Arc de Triomphe, Place de la Concorde, all connected by the Champs Elysee. Notre Dame.
And yes, we went to Le Tour Eiffel.
Now granted, this was before digital photography. Each roll of film cost money to look at, and you couldn’t erase the bad shots right when you took them. I know. I get that.
But dude. The fraking Eiffel Tower, right?!
So due to my penchant for it, my mother entrusted me as official trip photographer. Or, maybe I was the one willing to carry the camera. Either way, I took lotsa pictures. Lots and lots and lots. I think we went home with something around 16 rolls of film.
Including the one iconic shot, of the Eiffel Tower in the background, my mother in the foreground, yelling at me to QUIT TAKING SO MANY DAMN PICTURES!!!!
But…It’s the Eiffel Tower, I insisted!
Yeah, and you’ve already taken 50 pictures of it already!
But…but I gotta get it *just right*.
Bless the inventors of the digital camera, by the way. May you be showered with blessings upon you, and upon your children, and their children’s children.
So I learned that people who don’t appreciate and/or enjoy the craft of photography tend to get pissy when you stop every five minutes and spend 10 minutes ‘framing your shot’ and then taking 30 versions of that shot to get it, you know, *just right*.
If you’re gonna go off walking around, taking pictures, go with other photo walkers. They are far more understanding of the slow pace required. And will most likely still talk to you afterwards. They certainly won’t berate you, or ground you for using up 16 rolls of film.
With that in mind, thanks to Aaron Hockley, aka @ahockley, for organizing the first Geek Photo Walk!
There will be pictures. Oh, yes, there will be pictures. Look! To the right! A Recent Flickr Photos stream!
Yeah I know it’s empty. Check back tomorrow, my peeps, check back tomorrow. Activated!
PS – all you Flickr pros, any tips on using it = much appreciated!