Tag Archives: backyard

Teh Slows – I Haz Them.

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Halloo internets!!  I have a new theme, whattya think?

Yeah.  I know.

It’s slow.

S    L    O    O    O    O    O   W.

I can’t even say slow slow enough to fully capture just how slow my blog loads now.

No fears tho!  Thanks to the fabulous Jason Grigsby and his talk  from last year’s WordCamp Portland ,  “Speed Up WordPress: Make Readers Happy and Your Site Green”, I have this handy little tool on my FireFox called YSlow .  And I’ll be using it to optimize my blog so the SLOW WILL BE NO MO.

Just as soon as I have time.  I mean, you see how long it took me just to install a couple new themes to play around with? 

THE BUSIES.  I HAZ THEM.

Still.  Here’s a short little list of all the plates I have spinning merrily:

And that’s just my projects.  I still go to martial arts class, I still work on the Eternal Project, I date people, I try to keep my dog well exercised and happy because she’s the bestest dog on the planet, I am trying to build a couple of DJ sets to shop around, and I still love to write using blogs for my various writing outlets (this here personal one, OurPDX, and now the WordCamp Portland blog is gonna need some loves from me.)

Oh yeah, and work. 

So, busy.

I could use some help with that stuff, you know.  If you’re not doing anything.  Stuff like:

  • Recommending great local bands who’d like to play the 30 Hour Day 2 Variety Show on July 3rd
  • Volunteering for some core responsibilities for WordCamp Portland
  • Mow my front yard

Ok I was kidding about the yard one.

Mostly kidding.

Also, just so you know – lolcats  might be taking over my brain.  If my posts start to become a bit gibberishy-make that more gibberishy than usual-please send a couple dogs, or cat exterminator, to save me and my dog from the lolcats.

Ode to Summer

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I was gonna post this on the Winter Solstice, in the depth of the cold and gray…but now it’s just gray.  Not so cold.  Still…enjoy this memory of summer past and think of summer on its way.

She lounges on her back patio, her skin soaking in the last sparkling rays of sunshine as the sun makes his way to his evening engagements.  Eyes closed, she breathes in the warm late summer air, catching the faint juicy scent of the tomato plant nearby.  Small ripe yellow tomatoes the shape of tiny gourds dangle from the plant, their flesh glowing and translucent in the late afternoon sun.

Sun Tomato

Sun Tomato

She reaches an arm out and plucks a tomato, feeling its firm skin, still very warm from the heat of the day.  Holding the tomato up to the light, its veined interior glows darker against the bright yellow.  She places it in her mouth and slowly bites into the ripe flesh, the skin resisting her teeth causing a small explosion of slightly sweet, slightly tangy juice to erupt against her tongue.

I wrote this in the summertime.  I saved it for the wintertime, so I could remember what summer feels like when it’s cold and wet and rainy outside.

Spring Implications

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I’m giddy.

I don’t usually like to use that word to describe my mood, because it has such sophomoric (ha! props to @smithrockneil) connotations for me, but…there’s no better word to describe how I feel when I get that first hint of spring in the air.

After the giddiness, however, comes the speculative gaze over my backyard.  The time where I announce loudly, to no one in particular, while standing in my backyard, that I am the MASTER OF MY DOMAIN, dammit, and ALL VEGETABLE MATTER EXISTING THEREIN SHALL BOW BEFORE ME.  And that, my friends, is what happened last weekend.  Yes, interwebs, hold on to your hats: it’s time to resume my Eternal Project.

e·ter·nal audio (-tûrnl)

ADJECTIVE:

  1. Being without beginning or end; existing outside of time.
  2. Continuing without interruption; perpetual.
  3. Forever true or changeless: eternal truths.
  4. Seemingly endless; interminable.
  5. Of or relating to spiritual communion with God, especially in the afterlife.

Right.  My eternal project is my backyard.  I have a grand vision of a peaceful, secluded sanctuary, and I’m constantly trying to figure out how to balance my available funds against my vision.  Hard hard hard to do.  Especially now, when funds are so scarce these days, right?

So the plan for this year:

  • Figure out what to do with the slide in my backyard.  It’s just in the wrong place.  But I do love watching my dog run down it.  And, I must confess, I’ve been known to run down the thing myself, but don’t tell anybody, k?  Our secret.  Yeah.  So, a slide compromise is required.
  • Plant a tree in the back corner.  Birch, or maybe maple.  Or both?  Huh.  Or…maybe a paperbark cherry.  Love those.
  • Plant lilacs.  No, I’m not making my backyard an homage to the official New Hampshire state flora.  It’s a coincidence, seriously.  Yes, I did live in New Hampshire for 9 years.  So?
  • Do something with the grass on my little front planting strip.  I know, not part of my back yard per se, but there’s project leakage.  Scope creep. The backyard is the biggest piece, is all.
  • Pergola?  Maybe?  If I build it myself.  I can do that, right?  Right?  Sure.  I think?

And then of course there’s the bamboo maintenance, so it doesn’t turn into all Day of the Triffids on me (by the way, one of my favorite movies growing up!).  And figuring out possible seating around my fire pit of awesomeness.  And of course, building a shed.  Ugh.  So freakin much to do!  Oh, and I want to grow veggies this year too.  Mmm, backyard salad.  And disconnecting my downspouts into a nifty little bioswale.  And more lavendar, since it seems to withstand dog antics pretty well, unlike many of my other unfortunate planting attempts.

So.  I’ll be posting updates.  And pictures!  It will be GLORIOUS.  Perhaps, dare I say it?  as glorious as John Metta’s blog.  Stay tuned!

I am currently taking bids for any of the above-mentioned work.  Payment will be in the form of  beer, pizza and of course my undying gratitude.  Please submit your bid in the comment section below.  Extra points if you request good beer.  I reserve the right to determine what, exactly, is good beer.