This month has been…trying. I’ve had more time off this month than I have in a while, and yet I feel exhausted. Holidays have always been about spending time with people I care about, relaxing, and being generous with whatever money I have at the time. Now it seems to be all about responsibilities…we have to go here, we have to see them, we have to do this, etc. That’s just not fun, and certainly not relaxing. So I enter the new year feeling tired, and grumpy, and altogether miserable, if you add my professional situation to the mix. I’m desperately looking for a change, and I don’t see any opportunities.

Usually this is the time where you sit down and take a look at the past year, at its ups and downs, and see if there are any lessons to take with you. I would like to do that…but I’m just too dang drained at the moment. It will just have to wait..probably until later this week.

I do hope that your holidays went off better than mine.

You must do as you’re told!

I’ve always had a problem doing what I’m told. I much prefer having suggestions presented to me, so I can analyze the options, and then decide for myself if that’s the best choice. UNFORTUNATELY…that’s not really what work is about. I’ve tried really really hard to get myself into a position where I can do things that way, and I’ve gotten sorta close. But there are times when I just need to do what I’m told, turn off my brain, and just do it. If I leave my brain on, I will resist. I can’t help it. If you want me to do stuff your way with my brain on, you must get me to “buy in” to your way of doing it, which means you must explain it to me before I will budge, and realize that I may disagree. (I might still agree to do it your way, but I’ll have to make sure you understand that I disagree with your approach). If you want me to just do it your way with no explanation, then I need to turn my brain off. And I mean OFF. Little tasks for me to complete with really no skill whatsoever. Which means you now have the headache of splitting up the big task into tiny little baby steps. Haha! Much better to let me do it in a way that we both agree is the best.

I’m starting to realize that this is true outside of work too.

The start of the blahs.

In case you haven’t noticed, I’ve been feeling a bit unmotivated about posting as of late. However, it seems to have permeated every facet of my life the past few weeks. I don’t seem to be motivated to do much of anything. It’s been bothering me quite a bit – I don’t see myself as the kind of person who sits around all day long watching TV or playing on the computer. But that’s exactly what I’ve been doing, and I hate it. I don’t mind being a couch potato for part of the day. But all day? That’s just not ok in my book, and yet that’s exactly what I’ve been doing. Meanwhile my garage project is still unfinished, there’s shopping to be done, trees to buy, presents to wrap, lights to hang…the list goes on and on, especially with the holidays coming up fast.

So I think I finally figured out what’s going on: I have started experiencing the winter blahs. Yes, I know it’s still fall. There’s no snow. It still hits the mid-50s during the day. The sun still shines occasionally. However, it still feels like winter is standing right over my shoulder, towering over me in a most threatening manner. The leaves are all gone, and it’s dang chilly at night. Times like these, I wonder if my mental well-being would be more suited to a locale which experiences more sunshine than rain, more heat than cold. Like…Mexico. Then I can run around with a jacket on when it’s 70 degrees in the wintertime and say “My it’s so cold today!!” and smile, just like the locals. I’ll get nice and tan. I won’t own a car. I’ll eat lots and lots of huevos rancheros, and go horseback riding. I’ll have picked up enough Spanish to get by in about a month, and I’ll be fluent in six. I’ll open up a little computer school, and teach basic computer skills and web development and stuff like that. I’ll buy myself a little villa, with a cook and a maid, and I’ll pay them decent wages, and I’ll have heated tile in the bathroom.

Well…someday.

Thanks for coming along on my little dreamboat trip. I feel a smidgen better.

Numerology and the Birthdate.

Aside

You are imaginative and creative, but rather uncomfortable in the business world.You are very aware and sensitive, with outstanding intuitive skills and analytical abilities.The 29 reduces to 11, one of the master numbers which often produces much nervous tension.This is the birthday of the dreamer rather than the doer.You do, however, work very well with people.


Your Birthdate: November 29


Your birthday on the 29th adds a tone of idealism to your nature.

Elephants vs Donkeys

From what I remember of my US History class in high school, the major difference between Republicans and Democrats was how much power the federal government was granted. Republicans favor less power, with more power going to the states; Democrats prefer the opposite. With that in mind, I realize that if that were still truly the only difference, I would be a Republican. But that is not the only difference as I see it. Republicans are completely controlled by religious right and big corporate agendas. Democrats are completely controlled by liberal agendas. What they both have forgotten is that they do not answer to the church. They do not answer to whichever business has and donates the most money. They do not answer to radical fringe groups, be they left or right. They answer to the people. They are entrusted to do what is right for the people, in the eyes of the people.

I’m tired of trying to choose the lesser of two evils. They’re both still evil, and their relative standing does nothing to change that.

Category: Thoughts