I’m gonna go crazy now that I can upload pictures. This rocks 😀
Here’s the current status of the garage project!
Actually we’ve come a bit further than that even…the two big flourescent lights were moved underneath the floor, and a couple new circuits where added to the fuse box to handle the load. We’ve got a bunch of lights to install still, but it’s coming along!
Category: Family
Right now I feel normal – or at least the same as I usually do. But man, this morning…I don’t know if I’m imagining things, or what. But this morning I felt…well…funny. It was sort of a physical feeling, but not really…more of just a feeling I think. Man, but I don’t want to get my hopes up until I get that blood test this weekend. This weekend! Phew it’s been a looooong two weeks, but it’s almost over.
I’m going to have to be careful not to freak out if it turns up positive. I might freak it out of place!
Must be calm…peaceful. Like so:
ps: It’s about time they enabled photo uploading! Yay!!! Expect LOTS more pictures 😀
Category: Family
I have to wait a whopping TWO WEEKS before I have any chance of finding out if I’m pregnant. That has GOT to suck. No, it does…because I’m only 3 days into my 14 day purgatory. Man!
Category: Family
The condition of being disturbed. I was moving through life, all signals where green, when I get smacked upside the head by the most unlikely of things: obsession. My own variety. I learned that prolonged exposure to the person that one is a fan of can be a very cataclysmic event. How? I had a dream last night, and that’s exactly what happened. In my dream, through no action on my part, I found myself face to face with a person I have idolized for nearly 12 years. And I spent a long time with this person. Long enough to transform the idol in my head into a person I know. And I woke up feeling…strange. Unsettled. Like my life underwent a small, say 4.6 earthquake. So I sit here and wrack my brain trying to figure out why, why is this affecting me? It was just a dream.
Maybe, because my soul is echoed so clearly in her music…I came face to face with my innermost creative soul. And the fact that I have neglected it for so long. My fingers are slow and soft, my soul is caged. Certainly no condition for a musician. I put it off and put it off, saying ‘Now is not the time for such things’, but then, what better time is there?
I should finish my music room. That’s what that dream says. The sleeper must awaken!!!
Category: Thoughts
Soo…I’m trying to get pregnant. I know I know, yikes! There goes my happy-go-lucky life with nary a care in the world. Hello baby bottles and baby poo, sleep deprivation (really, is there any better drug than that?? I think not!!) and worst of all, a money sponge like no other.
So why?
Yes, all my friends are doing it. And while I have to admit it *does* play a part, it certainly is not the primary motivating factor. But come on…one can only be surrounded by babies of varying ages on a constant basis and be in the prime of your baby-carrying life for so long without being affected.
When I was much younger, (say oh, 22, for grins) I made a Decision. I decided that I would Decide whether or not I wanted to have kids when I was 30. It was one of my two biggest Decisions I’ve made in this lifetime, and I adhered to it (by not deciding!) until I turned 30, a scant few years back. Yes, yes it was a SCANT!! dammit.
Anyway, I turned 30, and I sat down to Decide.
I thought a lot.
And then I Decided.
Before I impart my Decision to you, I want to make one thing clear. Despite the fact that is was only a few years ago, the people I am friends with now who have children either a) I did not know then or b) were not yet planning to have kids. So, the current baby-heavy atmosphere I find myself in now was NOT a factor when I made my Decision.
I Decided that I did indeed want to have children. Someday.
My Decision was based on one thing: I realized that when I lay on my death bed (assuming I get that luxury! Would that be a luxury? I dunno…) I would feel…empty…if I didn’t have children. If I didn’t create a family. If I didn’t have children to impart the lessons I have learned, whether or not they choose to learn them. Although I find that even when children don’t take their parents lessons to heart at first, they usually do later! I would regret it more than anything else.
And I also realized that children is the one true path to immortality. The one real way to leave your mark on the world is to create love and family while you’re here.
So I got that outta the way. Took me about an hour.
But notice, I didn’t specify when! I just figured I would know when the time is right.
And the time is right…right now. So wish me luck!
Category: Family
