The condition of being disturbed. I was moving through life, all signals where green, when I get smacked upside the head by the most unlikely of things: obsession. My own variety. I learned that prolonged exposure to the person that one is a fan of can be a very cataclysmic event. How? I had a dream last night, and that’s exactly what happened. In my dream, through no action on my part, I found myself face to face with a person I have idolized for nearly 12 years. And I spent a long time with this person. Long enough to transform the idol in my head into a person I know. And I woke up feeling…strange. Unsettled. Like my life underwent a small, say 4.6 earthquake. So I sit here and wrack my brain trying to figure out why, why is this affecting me? It was just a dream.

Maybe, because my soul is echoed so clearly in her music…I came face to face with my innermost creative soul. And the fact that I have neglected it for so long. My fingers are slow and soft, my soul is caged. Certainly no condition for a musician. I put it off and put it off, saying ‘Now is not the time for such things’, but then, what better time is there?

I should finish my music room. That’s what that dream says. The sleeper must awaken!!!

Category: Thoughts